A Practical Daily Forum for Enhancing Emotional and Spiritual Health.

April 16th
I asked a priest once what his definition of 'sin' was. He replied, 'any thought, word or deed with the absence of love.' I replied, 'Uh-Oh'. The good news is the past is unchangeable so we don't need to worry about it. We can learn from our mistakes and hopefully do better next time. Worrying about tomorrow is just as useless (beyond practical planning ahead). It rarely turns out the way I think it might, no matter how many scenarios I run through in my head. Perhaps you've heard the adage, 'Yesterday is history and tomorrow's a mystery - all I really have is today'. What am I doing at this moment? The next right thing? Sometimes yes, sometimes I'm doing things I'll have to make amends for later - I am human after all. It is a fact that if I'm being judgemental, cynical or unkind - there's no love involved so those are character defects I need to avoid at all costs. They will hurt me much more than they will hurt the person they are directed at.

April 14th
Today a co-worker wasn't doing something the way I wanted and I responded by getting angry. Later, someone else gave me a hard time because I wasn't doing what they wanted. I responded by getting defensive - and angry. In both cases I read them the riot act and now have to go back and make amends. Getting angry didn't solve anything and in fact compounded my problems. Why do I react that way? The simple answer is because I want to. So how do I not want to the next time I have those situations? I can start by acknowledging that the world 'According to ME' isn't necessarily a good thing. I'm just playing God when I make those kind of judgements. If I'm not being humble, it's a certainty I'm going to humiliate myself. That's a fact proven by hard experience in my life. The solution for me is to replace anger with love as soon as I recognize it starting and pray for the other party involved whether I really mean it or not. In that state of mind my prayer ends up sounding like, 'God, please give them everything they deserve'. Not exactly loving and empathetic, but it does give ME some relief, which is the whole point of this exercise in the end.

April 10th
Most of my life I have spent trying to prove to myself and anyone who would listen that my ideas and beliefs are the correct ones. I have come to realize that anytime I take a position on anything, I must be prepared to defend it. There's a never-ending stream of people coming into our lives that think they have a better way, so defending my position becomes an energy-sapping struggle in futility. Being open-minded is not just a virtue, it's one of those Spiritual Principles we should be trying to incorporate into every aspect of our lives. If I just don't take a position on anything, I have nothing to defend and no reason to attack - life gets waaaaay smooth. Much of the conflict and controversy is gone and I can spend my time and energy enjoying life instead. Taking a neutral position on everything never makes me look bad and leaves my sanity and serenity intact. If someone tries to make a challenge, I simply say 'Oh, that's an interesting way to look at it!' If I see someone about to do something really messed up and certain to hurt themselves or others I say 'Wow, you're going to really be able to help someone someday if you survive that!' Think of it this way - would you rather be happy or right all the time?

April 9th
I don't understand the God of my understanding! That's a good thing though, because if I squeeze my concept of God down into a neat little package my limited brain can comprehend it's probably like an ant pretending to understand a space station. I can enjoy a television show without understanding the complexities of all the signal processing that occurs between the studio and my TV screen. Likewise, I can enjoy a rewarding spiritual life and all the abundance my Creator sends my way without understanding the process. Like my TV, all I really need to know is how to turn it on (through prayer) - and tune it in (through meditation).

April 8th
Ego is that part of me that demands identity and individuality. It makes judgements and comparisons to distinguish me from others, at least in my own mind. The big problem there is that it separates me from you, from the Source of all that exists - which I choose to call God and it blocks me from being the person I am supposed to be. When I make comparisons with others, I don't compare the real me to the real you, I compare my insides to your outsides and when I do that I always come up short because we are great at hiding what's going on inside to keep the outside attractive. I don't have to give up on being the person I want to be and become some sort of automaton. I can do the things I enjoy and experience life in my own unique way, so long as I'm not doing it for the sake of uniqueness. I need to stay connected to you, to my source and especially to the person I was supposed to be all along before Ego blocked me off.
Today and from now on: I will try not to judge or make comparisons that isolate me from being the real me and separate me from you.

April 7th
Prayer is simply making conscious contact with the Power that directs and guides me, which I choose to call God. I may ask a question, express gratitude or concern for someone. Meditation is a process of quieting the constant noise in my head which is my judgement and opinion or more often than not, is simply replaying events and situations that have happened to me - and then listening to the quiet. Neither prayer nor meditation is very useful by themselves, but when used in conjunction I find them to be a powerful tool for spiritual, mental and emotional growth. Prayer gives me a concept or idea to focus on and meditation is a detailed examination of the idea without my judgement or opinion skewing the analysis. It's amazing how answers or solutions come that my brain would have never considered!

April 6th
Ok, we talk alot here about spirituality and living life on a spiritual basis. Does that mean we're suggesting you become a 'Sunbeam for Jesus' and go pass out flowers at the airport? That may work for some but that isn't at all what we mean here. There are many Spiritual Principles which when applied in our daily lives serve to make life a much more rewarding and enjoyable experience. Some of these are: Honesty, Open-mindedness, Humility, Gratitude, Modesty, Compassion, Empathy, Enthusiasm, etc. You get the picture, they are all things we regard as virtues and on the moral and ethical upside. None of us is going to be able to maintain perfect adherence to these as we are human and imperfect, but by trying to make these part of our day to day life - we improve with practice. It's all about spiritual progress, not perfection. Being Spiritual in the context we discuss here simply means that to the best of our abilities, we are trying to live life by incorporating spiritual principles in all our affairs.

April 4th
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. If I am disturbed, it is because something going on in my life, some person, place, thing or situation is unacceptable to me. I will not find inner peace and serenity until I accept that situation as being exactly how it's supposed to be. That's a bigger hurdle than it first appears as I can only do that if I come to believe that nothing in this world happens by mistake and is part of a Grand Design. I can only find inner peace and happiness by accepting life completely on life's terms, not mine.
Today and from now on: I will concentrate not so much on what needs changed in the world (in my opinion) as what needs to be changed in me.

April 3rd
Fear may be closely tied to our survival instincts, but there are many times in my life when my fears had truly damaging effects. Some of the things I most regret are missed opportunities due to being too afraid to try something new and unfamiliar. Worry, anxiety and nervousness are all different names for fear and what purpose do they serve? In reality they reduce my ability to cope with the situation causing it. Fear is nothing more than a lack of faith. Faith solidifies when a belief is proven true. If I look back at all the times when I experienced fear, chances are that no matter what it was - I got through it OK and life went on. Realizing that most of my fears are unfounded and having faith that this too shall pass in spite of my worst imaginings can give me comfort and confidence.
Today and from now on: I will recognize my fears for what they really are - irrational unfounded imaginings that rarely if ever turn out the way I think they might. I will have faith that I will be ok no matter what happens.

April 2nd
Some days I have a bad case of the R.I.D.S. (Restless, Irritable and Discontented). It used to happen ALOT, and if left unattended - deep depression follows close behind. What causes it? What do I do to shake it off? For me, I noticed that it starts with something not going my way (remember the 'I WANT...' thing from yesterday?). That leads to dissatisfaction which makes me ungrateful for what I do have. I found that if I'm suffering from a lack of gratitude, I'm usually having a lousy day. When I notice the RIDS coming on, I say to whatever may be listening - 'Thank you for all the great things and people you put in my life! What can I do to pay you back for that today?'. If my RIDS are being caused by another person who's having a 'bad spiritual hair day', I ask that they receive everything they want out of life and that they get all the best things I want for myself instead of me. It works GREAT! I can't tell you why it works, but it always makes me feel better when I remember to do it.
Today and from now on: When I feel a case of the RIDS coming on, I will try to remember that life isn't all about me, and that it is a blessing and a priveledge that I was chosen to participate in this Grand Plan.

April 1st
I want___, I want to say___, I want you to be___, I want you to do___, I don't want you to___, I don't want___. Fill in your own blanks there, mine change from minute to minute. I just know that when I make decisions based on what 'I WANT', it usually causes some kind of unmanageability in my life - like maxed out credit cards, my family has to accomodate me at the expense of what they want and then no one is happy, etc. etc. When I act out impulsively on self-centered, self-serving behavior, things usually don't turn out very well. When I pause for just a second and ask my Higher Power 'Would you have me do this?' or 'Would you have me say this?' I get the distinct sense of a shaking head and a wry smile. Ok, so then what? Simply ask 'What would you have me do?' and listen for the answer however long that may take. It usually doesn't take long to become clear that my 'want' would have turned out to be a mistake. Today and from now on, I will try to pause and ask for guidance before acting impulsively.

March 31st
Negative emotions like Fear, Anger, Greed, Pride, Lust and Guilt are spiritual black holes. When we embrace negative feelings and let them dominate our thoughts, no light from our spirit can escape. Others shy away from us when we have a dark cold spirit. We become isolated and lonely which only increases the black hole's power. So why do we allow such feelings to have control over us? Personally, I think they give me a false sense of security. They are self defense mechanisms that don't work. Until I realize that, I am unwilling to let them go lest they leave me vulnerable to being taken advantage of by others. The reality is that it works just the opposite way. My negative emotions have me dancing like a puppet on a string and I lose my power of choice. True power comes from Faith, Trust, Love and being of Service to others. If I carry those Power tools with me in all my affairs, more abundance flows into my life than I truly need or deserve and the light of my spirit shines brightly for all to see. Today and from now on: I will seek out every opportunity to be of Service to others and develop Faith, Trust and Love in a power greater than myself.

March 30th
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own problems that not only do we suffer from anxiety and it's physical manifestations, but we cause suffering in those around us. In other words, we take out our discomfort on them by lashing out with words or just not being there for them when they need us. I find when I focus my attention on kindly caring thoughts for others, my so-called 'Big Problems' fade like smoke in the wind. I'll never be problem-free, but with the right tools I can put them into perspective. Today and from now on: I will try to focus positive caring thoughts towards others as often as possible.

March 29th
Imagine if your head had a loudspeaker and everyone could hear what you think throughout the day. Yikes! Most of us probably wouldn't have too many friends left. I find that I am what I think - because as I think, so the rest of me follows. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude helps me to be more like the kind of person I admire and would like. Being grateful for the people and things in my life keeps me centered and just a whole lot more comfortable being myself. The big rewards are feeling better about being me, more positive about life in general and improved relationships with family and friends. Today and from now on, - I will try to maintain an 'Attitude of Gratitude' ~ Dave C.

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